Making Amends
by WinterElle
Summary: Alternate Universe, Post Season 3, Episode 15. Life has settled again into a hopeful peace. Elena has worked hard for normalcy and the right to move on with her life. But before she does, she has to make peace with a betrayal that weighs on her conscience. Elejah.
1. Chapter 1

Making Amends

Chapter 1

Elena expected this meeting to be an uncomfortable one. She shifted on the leather seat and felt it creak under her, a faintly pained echo of her discomfort. She traced a mar in the table at the booth she had secured at The Mystic Grille with a nervous finger. Before she opened the next chapter of her life, college, she was going about tying up the loose ends left by the last one with the people around her. She had one left. Being a complete coward; she had left the most challenging….and most shameful confrontation for last.

Waiting. She was terrible at waiting, but compulsive about never being late. The combination of the two left her in a delicate balance that fed the tension she was already trying very hard to ignore. The white knuckles of her tightly clasped hands stood out against the dark wooden table. Drawing a deep breath to calm herself, she reminded herself why she was here and how far she'd come.

High school behind her, she would be leaving for college very soon. The thought brought a dim smile to her face. She chose a school as far away from Mystic Falls as she could get- California. She was accepted and soon she would be on with her life, leaving all things supernatural behind her. She did plan to come home for holidays, but only then, and that was for Jeremy's sake.

After long discussions and many tears Alaric had agreed to stay with Jeremy, in the Gilbert house, as his guardian. After all had been said and done, she knew he was still the same Ric they had always known and loved. Damon had set about helping Ric to adjust and his help had proven invaluable.

She was able to smile when she thought about her "family". Friends had come together to make a supportive and stable safe place for her and Jeremy. With the loss of her parents and the ensuing years of drama that followed, her family now consisted of friends bound together by love and a common goal to rebuild. Family wasn't always limited to those who shared common blood. It was a lesson she had learned well.

Watching the door, Elena saw him come in and her internal woolgathering halted midstream. Smooth, cool skin, dark hair, warm brown eyes, immaculate dark grey suit – he had changed very little in the nearly two years since she had seen him last. Her heart accelerated and she wouldn't even kid herself that it was with fear. She hoped the sounds of the other people around her would mask the change in her pulse. His dark eyes moved smoothly as she watched him scan the room until he met her eyes. She tried to smile, but ended up settling for a nod in his direction.

Sliding into the seat across from her, Elijah's eyes swept her downcast face, her stiff shoulders and felt the weight of her expression. Worse still, he could feel her fear very nearly humming in the air around her. The sharp, delicate scent of it clung to her clothing, even her hair, like a dank mist.

_That will never do, _he thought as his eyes narrowed and frustration blooming in his chest.

After trading meaningless greetings, they sat looking at one another. Elena understood little of what she saw in the dark eyes that studied her. She felt sure she was an open book to him, but as always, she could read little into Elijah's expressions. He had always been a puzzle to her.

"I really appreciate your agreeing to see me." Elena ran her fingers along her glass, wiping away the beaded moisture self-consciously.

He didn't answer and when she looked up again, he had tilted his head to one side. His eyes had narrowed and his lips were white, drawn and tight into a frown.

"Elena, how are you? Really?" His voice deepened with the question as he leaned forward.

"Guilt ridden, Elijah." Brown eyes met brown eyes. "I'm hoping that you'll forgive me for my part in what happened." She rushed into what she wanted to say, all eloquence lost in her sincerity.

"Dear, you are not the one who needs to be forgiven. I betrayed you." He shook his head, winding his fingers together and resting both his hands across the table. He shifted his shoulders a bit to one side in an effort to release the tension that gripped him with a heavy hand.

"It could have ended so much worse than it did." He was braced for a storm of fury. He had seen it before from Elena, after all, but always directed at others. And the flurry of recriminations, especially the accusations about carelessness and selfish pride had made themselves at home in his mind since the incident. He knew them by heart and every word was true. He could stand as his own accuser. Part of him hoped for the explosion.

Meeting her here, coming together for any reason really, was better than the silence of the last two years. If she wanted to accuse and blame, she had every right, and he would take it gladly. It would be a balm to his uncomfortable conscience.

Instead of anything approaching the righteous indignation he had expected, she looked ashamed. Her gaze dropped even lower than it had been as she hung her head, avoiding his eyes with concerted effort.

"You were angry. I understood that, even then. I think we betrayed and injured _one another_." Sincere liquid brown eyes met his eyes finally and he had to stifle the impulse to correct her. She bore no blame in his family's drama and never had, but he would let her have her say.

Elena moved her gaze back to the hands she was twisting in her lap. He was just watching her, just listening. It didn't seem like any of it mattered to him at all. His handsome face held no expression, no hint of the brilliant mind working behind those features.

"I forgive you….without condition." Uncertain, she met his eyes again and found his were wide with an expression she couldn't define.

The most beautiful concept ever to grace humanity, and she dropped it into their situation with no more care than one would cast a dirty stone into a lake. For him, the wonder of that beautiful word blew over him like warm breath on a long cold night. _Forgive._

One of Elena's lovely shoulders had actually risen and dropped quickly in a shrug as she spoke it. She obviously believed it meant little, but it left him in her debt all the same. _How would he ever be able to repay that? What value could he place on her forgiveness? Did she not know that it was priceless? _

She laid one hand across both of his larger ones. At her touch his large frame settled into stillness and he studied their hands together at the center of the table.

"Elijah, can you forgive my part in what happened? You might've been killed. Your family…." Her voice broke then as the real value of family and a reminder of all she might've taken from him washed over her. She shook her head, painfully.

"I maintain that there is nothing you did that needs forgiving, Elena. You are a survivor and were doing just that. But if it matters so much, of course I forgive you." He squeezed her hand just a bit and smiled. It touched off something in her chest. A flicker…a flutter…something she couldn't name rattled around in her chest for half a second.

Actually, her heart skipped a beat and began a full-fledged gallop behind her breast bone. She could see that he heard as he dropped her hand swiftly, withdrawing.

"You speak of forgiveness, little Elena, but you're still _afraid_ of me." For the first time since she had known him, his feelings were apparent. Frustration and pain clearly lined his face.

She stood and moved to his side of the booth. He moved over, confusion clouding his eyes as she slid in next to him.

"Does this look like I'm afraid?" She took one of his hands in hers.

"Your heart tripped up when I held your hand. I smelled your fear when I sat down." Elijah pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "The last thing I want is your fear. I know that I have no right to expect anything else, but that doesn't make it easier to bear."

"You noticed my fear when you arrived because I expected you to yell, refuse to forgive me. Hate me forever. And that _mattered_ to me….very much." Eye to eye with inches between them, hands clasped, Elena could be nothing but be completely honest. "My heart skipped a beat because I haven't seen you smile in so long …and I missed it. You have a beautiful smile, Elijah. You should use it more often." For the first time in their acquaintance, he tipped his head back and laughed; years falling away from his face, his stature. He seemed younger than she had ever seen him. Elena couldn't help herself. She laughed too even though her skin grew hot with her discomfort at what she'd said.

"I won't ever lie to you again, Elijah. Even if the truth will embarrass me, I won't lie." She smiled again.

"No more lies and no more anger, then." The smile again, and her heart beat stopping and starting again. He chuckled a bit. Her self-betraying heart did _his_ heart good. "So where does that leave us, lovely Elena? Friends, do you think?"

"Yes, please."

So they talked. They ordered drinks together and sat in the same seat of the booth discussing the changes that had taken place in her life, as well as his.

After talking about school, her work and both of their families he turned to study her again. "I don't know if I can take any more of the suspense. Which Salvatore brother did you choose, in the end?"

She laughed. "Neither."

"Neither? I take it that this decision has resulted in more drama than I can possibly imagine."

"Not really. We're all still quite close, but, well, _the romance is gone_." With the last statement, she put her hand to her brow, feigning distress. He chuckled at her playfulness. "No, really, I just couldn't be the end of their relationship. And that's what it would've been. I love them both, but I'm not _in love_ with either of them. Not anymore. They were both angry with me at first, but came to see that I meant it. Now, I think they would thank me for my decision if it ever occurred to either of them."

"You have grown even more mature than you were already, Elena. How exactly does one so young get to be so wise?"

"Loss, I think." She took his hand again. "Something you and I have in common."

They closed down The Grille talking together. She preferred to make her own way home, so Elijah walked her to her car. Her expression grew serious. "Elijah, I don't want to lose track of you again. Is that alright?"

"Of course. You have my number. You always did. Call me if you need anything."

"I don't think you understand." She struggled to get the words out. "I don't want to just have your friendship as a back-up if I get into a tight spot. You know? I want to see you sometimes. I want for us to talk, be close, to be important to one another. Am I making sense?"

She found herself in his arms so quickly that she didn't see it coming. He moved fast enough that the air rushed through her hair, but he was gentle taking her into his arms. She was wrapped in silk suit and ancient vampire and felt safe, treasured.

"You never cease to amaze me." The words vibrated through his chest into the ear she had laid against him. He smoothed her hair so softly she thought she imagined it at first. He was drawing slow, deep breaths. Considering he didn't actually need to breathe, she wondered if he was figuratively breathing her in somehow. _And why did that comfort her?_

This could've gone so badly. She had expected…..well, she wasn't sure what she had expected. But warmth, acceptance and kindness didn't even appear on the list. But she was smiling and couldn't seem to stop. Relief lifted the weight from her shoulders and pressed behind her eyes with unshed tears.

After a few moments, she stepped back, and he didn't attempt to stop her. "So you agree?"

"I would also like that very much, Elena."

She took a deep, ragged breath of relief. She wasn't sure why this was so important to her, but it was. "Perfect. I'm going to hug you again, okay?" She had learned not to make sudden moves around vampires, and considering that she had stabbed him once before, she wanted him to know she was coming. No misunderstandings, no hidden agendas.

He spread his arms wide, his smile even wider as he said, "By all means."

Disclaimer:

**I own no part of the Vampire Diaries and am in no way affiliated with the program, its producers or its writers.**


	2. Chapter 2

Elena reached for her phone, finger skimming lightly across the smooth surface without stopping to see who the caller was as she braced it against her shoulder, both hands firmly again on the steering wheel.

"Hello?"

"Elena." She smiled reflexively at the sound of Elijah's deep voice. She liked the way he said her name. His accent lilted the word just a bit and made it sound like a compliment somehow.

"Elijah, I haven't heard from you in a while. How've you been?" The chuckle from the other end at her friendly sarcasm made her feel warm all over. They had talked just the night before, after all. The two of them had both been true to their word and been either meeting or talking on the phone ever few days while Elena made arrangements for her journey into college life.

She heard him clear his throat before his tone grew serious as he said, in answer to her question, "Actually, I could use your assistance with something. I'm a bit out of my depth."

Before she could draw another breath, she was pulling her car to the shoulder of the road and gripping the phone with white fingers.

"Are you alright?"

The strain must've rang in her voice because he came back immediately with a reassuring chuckle. "Yes. Yes, of course. Everything's fine. I just have a problem I think you could help me with." The warmth was back in the deep voice that asked, "Would you mind stopping by when you have a spare moment?"

_He_ needed _her_ help? She couldn't even _begin_ to imagine what might be happening. Well, she could, but everything that sprang to mind gave her cold chills, so she tried not to focus on any of it.

"Tell me where you are and I'll come right now. I have the time." She had only been headed home to do more sifting and packing. Without a doubt, whatever Elijah might need her for was infinitely more important. And she wasn't entirely sure she completely believed there wasn't something seriously wrong that his English nature was understating.

She had to ask where he was staying because up until that moment they had been meeting quietly at The Grille or some other public place. Elena had not brought him back to her home because she didn't want to create a stir about her growing friendship with the elder vampire. There were questions that her friends and family would have that she wasn't prepared to answer yet.

As she pulled down the long curving drive at the address Elijah had given her, her eyes scanned the familiar house and yard. The address was actually Klaus' former home during his last reign of terror in Mystic Falls. Evidently Elijah had claimed it when Klaus vacated.

The light stone colored mansion had actually changed very little since the last time she had seen it. It made her wonder briefly how long Elijah had been in residence. She would've thought it would be at the very least overgrown by now. But no sooner had the thought occurred to her than she dismissed it as the apprehension set in again.

Stepping up to the door, she took a deep, steadying breath before she rang the bell. Hearing light steps on the other side, she braced herself as Elijah opened the door with a smile.

"Well, that was fast." He wore dark, immaculate pants and a black dress shirt opened at the throat. She supposed this was his version of casual. It made her feel completely underdressed in her old, soft sweatshirt, tattered jeans and athletic shoes. Fingering the ends of her hair that had spent the day in a ponytail, she tried to push her discomfort away. She had been packing and working most of the day after all and had not taken the time for finery when he had called.

"Please, come in." He stepped back and opened the door wide, but Elena hesitated.

"Are you alone?" She said it quietly, her eyes darting him and the doorway. She wanted to at least be prepared for whatever might be happening. She had learned that lesson well dealing with Klaus in the past.

His smile grew wider. "Yes, Elena. I am alone." He emphasized each word of the last sentence. "Everything is fine. I could just use your expertise." He nodded reassuringly, his eyes wide and sincere, hands spread out and empty in a gesture of peace. "Honestly."

She blew out the breath she had been holding as she stepped into the foyer feeling all the more baffled. What could she _possibly_ do for Elijah?

One scan of the room revealed that the opulence of the décor the last time she was there had been stripped away. The large, expensive chandeliers and overblown silk window treatments that had adorned the rooms before were gone without a trace. A more classic, understated style defined the rooms now that suited Elijah's personality infinitely better. Walls that were once bright and garish had been transformed with muted neutral tones. As he led her to what had once been a formal dining room, she found a sitting room instead filled with butter soft brown leather furniture, thick wool rugs, a bookshelf nearly overrun with books and a roaring fire in the fireplace.

Unaware at first that she had done it, she let out a sigh of wonder.

He turned and met her eyes at the sound she made. "I'm glad you approve of what I've done with the place."

She smiled for the first time since she had gotten his call, relaxing a little. "Oh, it's perfect."

He invited her to sit and she sank appreciatively into the soft couch, realizing with the ache in her back that instantly felt better that she had been working too hard lately. Elijah brought her a bottle of the water she usually drank when she was out with him before he sat across from her and crossed his legs.

"The suspense is killing me here." She told him, hoping for some hint of what he had called her about.

He grinned over his glass of brandy. "I'm sure." But rather than answer the unspoken question and relieve her curiosity, he took another sip of the swirling liquid and let the silence grow heavier in the room.

Elena sat watching him, feeling half amused and half annoyed. Finally, she gave in, giggling.

"Elijah!" She drug the word out in an appeal for pity.

His bland expression broke into an answering smile and he laughed. "Not exactly patient, are you?"

She stuck her tongue out at him in answer and his laughter deepened. Their friendship had grown warmer and more open over the last weeks. She could amuse him with her abrupt honesty and he liked to drop bits of dry wit into their conversations that left her snorting with laughter. Elena had never known anyone quite like him.

"When we talked before, you mentioned something that we might both need when you are in California." He sat his glass down on the table and leaned forward in his seat.

She nodded. They had been talking about this just the night before. "Yes. Skype."

"Well, I'll admit I didn't know at the time what a "skype" was." Elena smiled as he went on. "So I found out and I agree with you." He leaned back then and gestured towards a large desk in the corner. "I have a computer over there and I was hoping you could help me get whatever it is that I will need set up for us to use later."

Before he had finished what he was saying Elena was up and headed across the room. On the desk she found a brand new laptop waiting. Elijah and technology. Wonders never cease. He could and would use a phone, but that was where his interest in modern communications ended. She had never dreamed when she had mentioned that there might be a better way for them to communicate that he might be willing to even try.

When she opened the laptop gingerly, she found that it was very expensive, very exclusive and more than capable of keeping the two of them in touch in the coming months ahead. She had a quiet appreciation for all things techy and was madly in love with the thing after only a few keystrokes. Without looking up, she sank into setting up the program for him, establishing an account in his name and making it as user friendly as possible.

Elijah watched Elena as she moved the computer to sit next to the fire. Sprawled comfortably on the rug, her eyes stayed riveted to the laptop screen. Every few minutes she would make a sound like a hushed sigh over the computer and he had to turn away so she wouldn't see his smile deepen.

She wore loose jeans and an old college sweatshirt. Her long dark hair hung over one shoulder from a loose ponytail and the light from the fire danced across the waves it made. She was youthful exuberance and innocence itself, sitting there. Elijah thought she had never looked more beautiful. But then again, he thought that every time he saw her.

"This all seems very complicated." Elijah spoke into a silence that had only been broken over the last fifteen minutes by her furious tapping on the keys of the computer. He wasn't the least bit surprised when she didn't respond. She was lost in the focus of her task.

As he had hoped, she had been unable to resist a plea for her help. Now he just had to wait for the right time to tip his hand.

Watching her brimming with excitement was worth any trouble or price.

After a few more minutes, she finally spoke.

"Okay, I have everything set up. All that's left is to test it out from another computer to make sure it's all good. Then I can show you how to activate it, what it looks and sounds like when someone is calling, that sort of thing." She met his eyes and shrugged. "I will have to send you a message from home and then walk you through what to do from there."

Purposely keeping his expression blank, he said, "I have a better idea." He moved to the desk and opened a drawer. He removed a large flat box and brought it to her.

He watched her eye the silver wrapping warily. "Think of it as a late graduation gift since I missed the occasion." Elijah was grateful for the freedom to give her gifts now.

He just hoped he could convince her to accept anything from him. In his time it was customary for friends to frequently give gifts to one another. He would rely on that explanation if she asked, but his inclination to give gifts to Elena was much more basic than that.

Elena took the silver box from his hands feeling uncertain about the idea of accepting a present she couldn't possibly deserve. But before she could get a denial out, her eyes swept his face and what she saw there robbed her of her voice for a second. His face was blank as always. She was learning that wiping any expression from his face was his way of hiding what he was thinking or feeling. But his dark eyes moved restlessly over her with something brimming in their depths that she couldn't define. One look into those accidentally expressive eyes and she knew she couldn't say no to him, not when he looked at her that way.

Sitting the box in her lap, she carefully removed the lid to find a laptop computer of the exact make and model that his was. Her mouth fell open in wonder, but no sound came out as she met his eyes.

He smiled a little ruefully and raised a brow at her reaction.

Carefully she set the computer beside her on the rug and rose swiftly. She stepped in close, reaching up because he was much taller than her, and wrapped both arms around his neck. He seemed to freeze in place for a moment, as if he wasn't sure what to do, before he folded his arms around her.

Face tucked into his shirtfront, she said only, "Thank you. I love it."

She heard the smile in his voice as he said quietly, "Good." But his arms tightened around her for a moment.

A thought occurred to her as she leaned back to meet his eyes, still in the circle of his arms. "Damon has been admiring those online. He'll be eaten up with jealousy."

Elijah drew a deep breath before he gave her a crooked grin and said blandly, "Of that, I have no doubt."


	3. Chapter 3

Making Amends Chapter 3

Elena drew a long breath as she surveyed the piled and stuffed contents of her car trunk. Standing in the driveway admiring her handiwork, she wondered if she had forgotten anything. Months of planning had brought her to this moment. She had made the decision to drive to California because she loathed the thought of being without transportation in a new place. The idea of making such a long journey all alone was frightening and exciting at once.

A deep voice behind her brought her out of her melancholy with a start. "I know you plan to study literature, little Elena. But from what I see, I think you have a real talent for engineering. Is that actually the kitchen sink I see in there?" She spun, her shoes crunching on the gravel as her surprise faded to a smile.

"No, this is the bathroom sink. I was feeling generous and left the one in the kitchen for the guys." Her tart answer made Elijah smile too.

They had spoken the night before. It was her night to say goodbye to everyone and he had been out of town. So their well wishes had happened over the phone. She'd never dreamed she'd see him here before she left.

"What time do you plan to leave?" His deep voice sounded huskier than usual with the question.

Elena glanced at the silver watch at her wrist. "I have about an hour before I absolutely "have" to be gone." The check-in for her dormitory was very strict and she planned to be there ahead of time and ready for anything that might go wrong.

"How are you here anyway? You were in Brazil just a few hours ago."

Elijah gave her his bland smile. Elena had come to recognize that expression as a sure sign there were things he wasn't saying, and probably never would. It was a habit of his that only fed her curiosity.

He answered her with a light shrug. "This was more important."

_More important._ When had she ever been more important than anything to anyone?

How was it that with a single sentence that he could make her feel like the most valuable person breathing? Did he treat everyone this way that he was close to? She had no doubt he was being genuine. He didn't say things that weren't true, as a rule. The thoughts in her head made her heart race for a minute and she couldn't for the life of her figure out why.

Clearing her throat, she turned back toward the house, assuming he would follow. The place was empty because she had lovingly chased everyone away, saying she wanted some alone time with her mother's home before she left.

Back to him, she said, "How about I make us some coffee…." He had been behind her, she heard his footsteps on the stones a split second before. Without warning he appeared in front of her so swiftly that it stole her breath.

"No. Don't say it. Please." He lightly put a finger over her lips. His eyes were narrowed and his lips a white line of strain.

Her brows went up but she was proud of the fact that she hadn't squealed in surprise. She might never get used to that. Even Damon and Stefan didn't move so quickly you couldn't follow them with your eyes, but Elijah made it seem as natural as breathing.

"But Elijah…" She began as she pulled his hand away, grasping it lightly at the wrist.

"Yes, I know." He grimaced, interrupting her again. "You were about to ask me in for coffee because I am here and you feel obligated. You and your excellent manners." He sighed as he moved away, turning to face her after a couple of steps.

"You had your witch friend effectively rescinded my invitation into your home after our disagreement. That was wise." He opened his empty hands between them as he spoke. "Since we have been friends, you have been careful not to invite me here. Everyone needs for their home to feel like a safe place. Filled with the people you love, yours feels safest without me in it. Again, I have to applaud your wisdom. Caution, when it comes to my kind, is never misplaced." He had begun the statement meeting her eyes and shifted his gaze away as he spoke. When he stopped speaking, he turned away again and she could see a tension; feel his deep sadness in the way he stood and moved. Watching him made Elena's heart squeeze in her chest.

Elijah thought she didn't really trust him. In actuality, there had been no invitation here because she was selfish and didn't want to answer questions about him. It hadn't occurred to her that he would think something so terrible.

Swallowing hard, she took the few steps that closed the distance between them. He hadn't turned to face her again so Elena pressed herself to his broad, bowed back. Wrapping small arms as far as they would go around his waist, she hugged with all her strength.

Elijah's breath hitched against her as his spine straightened at the unexpected embrace. After a second of standing there seeming uncertain, he put his hands over hers and bowed his head, closing his eyes briefly.

"You got it wrong." She spoke into the silk covered shoulder after a deep breath, noting dimly that the scent that she associated with him but never been able to identify actually was the scent of fresh rain. "And here I thought I was an open book to you."

He made a short strangled sound that became a chuckle. "An open book? Never. A puzzle box, more like."

It had just never occurred to her that he might need reassurance about anything….ever. Evidently she was wrong about that too.

She stepped around and took one of his hands in hers and pointedly laced her fingers into his. She didn't speak as she tugged on his hand signaling for him to follow her as she headed up the step to her door. Together they walked past the threshold that had only moments before been a barrier against him and settled together peacefully in the kitchen.

Elena spent her last hour in her home with Elijah laughing and talking about the future and the past. If he hadn't come, she would've brooded and maybe even cried a little. So she was glad for his company and the distraction from what lay ahead of her. He had an uncanny knack for always knowing when she needed him. Again she was amazed at how important he made her feel and that she had never known anyone quite like him.

He had strength, wisdom and an intrinsic understanding of people around him. When she said so, because she was prone to say most of what she thought when he was around, he smiled a little and told her that he just paid attention.

As he walked her to her small red car, she wondered how she was going to say goodbye….to him, to her home. Somehow she had never imagined that leaving would be this difficult. All she had been able to think about in the beginning was escape and the possibilities ahead. Now she was appreciating possibilities she was leaving behind and they left a mournful cast over her future. If she didn't go, lost her courage, she would always wonder at what she had missed.

She turned and let her eyes linger over the tall man standing with her, looking out of place in her humble driveway. He wore another designer suit, in dark gray, cut in such a way as to amplify his broad shoulders and tapered waist. The lines of his coat were an echo of the cut of his jaw and the slant of his chin. The black shirt beneath made for a cool contrast against his throat where his skin was a warm dusky olive tone that made her sure he must've fed recently. Luminous brown eyes, with flecks the color of honey met hers and his smooth lips stretched into a small smile that didn't quite reach them.

"I'm not quite sure how to say goodbye." Her throat closed on the last word.

He took a half step closer to her. "Then don't."

"But I have to do this." Her eyes burned with unshed tears.

He took another step. "I didn't mean you shouldn't go, little Elena. I only meant we should not say goodbye." He pushed a lock of hair behind her ear as she was prone to do when she was distracted. His lips twisted into a half smile as he said, "Years ago, my mother would speak a charm over us as we would leave to go on some journey. I don't have my mother's gift anymore, but I think that is an adequate goodbye."

Elena nodded, her throat still tight with tears and he closed the distance between them.

He waited for her to meet his eyes and spoke, "Where you journey," he leaned close and brushed his lips to her left cheekbone, "East,"

His lips against her skin sent a shiver across her skin. They were smooth and warm and made her want to stretch like a cat being stroked. His hands had moved to her shoulders.

He leaned to the other side as he continued the charm. Lips again, brushing very lightly against her right cheek, "West." The shiver was spreading down her spine as the tingling contact set off a lightning storm in her brain. Her heart hammered like a drum so she couldn't even hear what he said as he brushed her forehead near her hairline with his lips again. Warm , smooth, electrically charged lips moved with tenderness over what should've been safe, innocent places. But her reaction was becoming anything but safe and not even a little bit innocent.

_Did he just say "North" when he had touched her there, at her hairline? Where would his lips land for "south"?_

When he brushed his mouth over hers for the sake of what he had implied was a mostly powerless charm, Elena felt the first stirring of real magick. Her heart stopped completely in her chest before it shuddered back to new life and seemed intent on breaking free of its confinement behind her breastbone. In that quick, sliding caress of his lips against hers, Elena made a startling discovery. He tasted of raw honey, fresh, wild and dangerous; stolen straight from the bee's hive. She made a small sound in her throat that must've sounded like a protest because he froze and moved to let her go.

But Elena wasn't done. Her small tongue moved over her bottom lip for a fraction of a second before she was the one closing the distance this time, as the word came out on a sigh. "Wait."

Instinctively, her hands slid up his arms, past his shoulders and to the smooth hair on the back of his neck. The muscles of his arms and shoulders were bunched under his suit coat, but as her fingers spread into his hair, like a tightly reined horse suddenly freed, he seemed to snap his tether.

She was reminded dimly of how much larger he was than her as he stooped a little to wrap both arms around her and close what little space there was left between them. It was a good thing too. Because her knees gave way and she would've folded like a dime store lawn chair if he hadn't had strong arms around her to keep her from sliding to the gravel.

A tiny pressure of her fingers in his hair and she was pulling him down to try that last direction, South, once more…. with feeling.

His mouth slanted down over hers swiftly and her lips parted instinctively this time. Elena had been kissed many times, in many ways. She'd tasted the sweet thrill of first love and been burned by blazing lust. But this was beyond her meager experience. This kiss held desire and something else she didn't understand. One of his hands slipped from around her to mold her cheek as he took her mouth with something like tenderness tinged with a bit of controlled violence. His tether hadn't completely snapped after all. And she wanted to know what would happen if it did. Now she simply needed to know.

One of her hands slid down his neckline as he shifted her in his arms. Without knowing she had done it, that stray hand of hers slid into the gaping side of his coat, over his smooth shirt and around to the pulsing muscles of his broad back. A sound rose from deep in his chest, a groan and a gasp as her fingers splayed wide across his spine and moved, tracing the column of bone. He broke the kiss, still gasping and she matched the sound with her own harsh rasps of breath.

_Elijah was out of breath, like he'd been running. But even running didn't get Elijah out of breath. _

After a moment, he spoke, his voice sounding tight and low. "Elena….."

_This was where he would say something sensible._ He would say that they were close, but he'd never intended them to be _this_ close. He'd remind her that this shouldn't have happened and emphasize how sorry he was. Elena could take a great deal from him, but not that.

She stepped back slowly, out of his arms and a prideful distance away, swallowing hard. "Elijah." She spoke his name with what she hoped was a warm smile, to say that she knew none of this meant anything. "I need to be going."

He blinked. Dark, luminous eyes moved over her face and she thought for a flash that he might take her by the shoulders and shake her. But he didn't and the thought would've never occurred to him.

His lips stretched into a parody of a smile as he said "Be safe, whatever direction you roam." It was the end of the charm he wanted to speak over her.

Proud of her courage, she straightened her spine, swallowed hard one more time before she got into her little car and drove away. If her eyes darted to the rearview mirror a dozen times or so before she reached the end of the street, she would never admit it, even to herself.


	4. Chapter 4

Making Amends, Chapter 4

Elijah stood in his gardens, staring out ruefully at the last strains of a golden sunset spanning across a darkening sky. As a rule, experience had taught him to handle problems as they arose rather than sit back and wait for backlash. It was with this in mind that he called Elena. Twice. She had not answered, which was unusual. And she had not returned his calls. That was even more unusual. It left him grinding his teeth.

He wouldn't pretend he understood her. But they _would_ talk about it, and clear the air. One way or another, it _would_ happen. He pushed up the white shirt cuff he'd rolled to his elbow as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at the blank screen again in frustration. The waiting was wearing on him.

He had been disarmed by her. It was the only explanation for what had happened outside her home four days ago. Well laid plans, because Elijah was nothing if not a planner, had been discarded in the heat of that moment. Things were now a jumble of confusion.

A single finger touched his lower lip as he slid for the hundredth time into the memory of how it had felt to hold her, to feel her lips part under his. The feel of her hands on him had been nearly more than he could bear without something primal nearly tearing loose inside him. The warmth and hypnotic sweetness of the moment haunted him.

He just had not been prepared for her response, or how it would affect him to see the fire ignite in her eyes as it had when he had touched her lips and then released her. He had thrown caution to the wind. In the process he'd revealed a need for her that he wasn't sure he could conceal anymore.

It could be worse…so much worse. He'd ached to lay his heart at her feet. If she hadn't stopped him, interrupted him with a reminder that she had to go, he would've told her everything. _So much worse._

He lifted his chin, his jaw set with determination. _Now to deal with the mistake he _had_ made._ How best to do that still escaped him though; especially when she wasn't returning his calls.

She was the one woman who was, for him, everything. The care he'd taken, the patience he'd spent would pay off. _He had to believe that. _

It was in that moment, nearly lost in his thoughts, that Elijah heard his laptop computer ringing as Elena had shown him. It was two floors away and more than half way across the house, but he heard it anyway. One benefit of what he was, excellent hearing. And there was only one person that that could be. Before it had a chance to alarm again, he was touching a key to answer the call while he sank into the chair at his desk.

The screen lit up with her face and he saw instantly that she looked tired and worn.

"You're alright, then." His tone sounded sardonic, which he hadn't intended. He supposed his frustration leaked out a bit around the edges. He could do better. "Thank you for calling."

She looked up, at him, then down and away from the screen. "I had to wait until I had some privacy. It's hard to come by here with my new roommate." She lifted a shoulder in a shrug.

"And you were avoiding me." He finished for her, though it stung to say the words aloud.

To her credit, she didn't deny it. "I am sorry about that." Her gaze moved to the screen again and met his across the miles.

"You would feel better if we talked about it."

Watching her struggle for a moment at his direct approach made him want to take back what he'd said, but he couldn't. They needed to be honest. She needed it.

After a moment of silence, her chin jutted out and a false smile played on her lips.

"There's nothing to talk about. I maul men in my driveway all the time." She said it so simply, so irreverently that he smiled. The false bravado in the brown eyes that met his made him laugh aloud.

"A mauling. That's how you see it?" Her smile wasn't false anymore and they laughed together. "I can tell you, my girl, that I've tangled with lions a time or two. You are much more kitten, than lion."

One of her hands went to a hip in mock indignation, her smile widening. But just as quickly it faded away and her gaze wavered again.

"You aren't going to tell me how sorry you are, then?"

A rough, strangled gasp rose from him, just at the thought. _Sorry? _She believed he was _sorry_ they had kissed?

He cleared his throat to cover the sound that had escaped him. Leaning closer, he rested his chin in a hand and held her eyes frankly when she looked up again.

"Did I seem sorry?" There was just a touch of suggestion in his tone and his eyes as he asked the question, one brow up.

He watched her absorb that and her left cheek dimpled a little in a wobbly smile. _Was it just his imagination that her eyes appeared to glisten in the harsh light around her? _She was more upset about this than he had imagined. Elena almost never cried that he had seen, even in the worst possible circumstances. Her spine was made of steel, or stone….old, weathered stone.

"No, I guess not."

"Alright, then." He leaned back, crossing his arms and hoping the matter was settled.

But she cleared her throat and he watched her swallow hard, as if making up her mind to be honest again. When she finally spoke, he understood why.

"I thought you would say that we were just friends and that…" Her voice sounded small and the words were only a whisper.

He interrupted her thought before she could hurt him with it. _It wouldn't have taken much. _

"Elena, no." He spoke firmly, kindly, hoping to make her understand. Hoping to be clear about the way he thought about the subject. "The only limitation this thing between us has is what we put on it. There are no labels that we have to accept. No barriers or boundaries. Do you understand?"

She nodded, her brown eyes wide and sincere.

"And do you agree?"

She nodded again, wordlessly, her dark hair moving around her face and glistening in the neon lights behind her.

"Then tell me about your room, about your new friends." Because he was sure anyone she met would love her.

She talked excitedly about her dorm, which was less comfortable than she'd hoped for and drew him a telling character portrait of her roommate that made him laugh. They talked about her classes, the people she'd met and the strange weather that was warm there, even for early autumn. When she ran out of steam, he brought up a topic he knew she wouldn't particularly like.

"Something happened here that you should know about." He sank back into his chair and waited.

"Oh, dear."

He lifted a shoulder, hoping to reassure her with his casualness.

"I had some visitors here last night." But to her credit, she only waited. But he could feel her tension, even across the distance.

"The Salvatore brothers paid me a visit in my home." Her small, child-like gasp spoke of one who'd seen more than her share of horrors

She echoed her first statement on the topic.

"Oh, dear." She waited a beat before she went on. "Is everyone….?" He guessed she couldn't finish the sentence but he knew where her thoughts had gone.

"If you didn't know it before, know it now. I'd never hurt someone you care about, little one." She was watching him closely, so he leaned again close to the camera. "It seems they caught my scent at your home and tracked me here." He smiled, because it really was rather funny now, looking back. "They seemed to think I meant you harm."

Her mouth opened and closed again a time or two.

"It's alright, Elena. Really." He couldn't help the laugh that escaped him. "I just thought you should know if anyone asked you about it. I didn't explain because none of it is any of their business. And the two of them seemed unaware of my invitation there having been rescinded."

"I apologize, Elijah. I'll speak to them." Her cheeks were flushed and her voice tight with anger. He could only imagine how that conversation might play out. The kitten who thinks she's a lion again.

"No, it's fine. All the grandstanding and posturing that went on in my living room were my night's diversion. Those two have such entertainment value that theatre or television could never hope to compete."

He watched her struggle for half a second with holding it in before she lost her battle and dissolved into giggles.

"Bless their hearts." She said when she could speak again. "My mother used to say that about someone when what she really meant was "They're too dumb to know better". It just sounds nicer, but still gets the message across. It's a southern thing, I suppose."

He had grown quiet, enjoying watching her. When she laughed, joy just rippled around her and he could lose himself in it sometimes. He liked to make her laugh for just that reason.

"You used to not think so." It came out quiet and a little angry without his meaning for it to.

Elena grew still, thinking hard, it seemed, for a minute.

"You're right. When they came along, they were like comets racing across a dark sky to me. All glitz and violence and beauty." Both her shoulders came up in an eloquent shrug. "Were." The word, emphasizing past tense, sounded so final when she said it that way.

"The shine wore off?"

"No, I don't think so. I just changed. I grew up."

Elijah smiled at her wisdom. "And they didn't."

"No."

"Some of us," He knew she would understand what he meant by "us". "get stilted in our development and never move forward, never really growing or changing no matter how long we might live. Klaus is a good example of that, always working for the approval of Father, even when he was gone."

"Damon and Stefan are the same, I think. Always competing with one another and living out the labels they have been given instead of stretching to become who they want to be." Elena sounded a little mournful and very wise.

Elijah could appreciate her fondness for her friends. Clearly that was how she saw both of them. So he was a man that could afford to be generous.


	5. Chapter 5

Making Amends, Chapter 5

It had been _such_ a God-awful day. Elena swallowed hard against tears that hovered near the surface. She tried occupying herself with focusing on the filmy curtains billowing in the late afternoon breeze rather than the pity-party for one she was having.

She started off her day by waking up late and skidding into class. She slunk in quietly and the professor had had a great time embarrassing her for it. The other one hundred or so people in the room had been a captive audience to her dressing down. _Mortifying._ That had been only the beginning, really. But everything else had been small bad things adding up to a sum total that equaled awful.

Her adventure, moving away from everything and everyone she knew and loved, didn't feel quite so daring anymore. It felt foolish, arrogant and impulsive. A surprise Skype call from Jeremy and Ric between classes hadn't even helped. Fridays weren't supposed to be excruciating.

Ultimately, she missed the familiar, especially today.

It was then that Elena's roommate, Hannah, erupted into their room sliding in on the polished floor in her stocking feet at a dead run.

"Okay, I need for you to stay calm." Hannah was an animated red head with legs for days, in cutoff denim shorts. Her hair was in an untidy knot on the top of her head with sprigs flying in all directions. Her green eyes were just as wild, her hands gesturing in all directions as she spoke.

Elena sat up, thankful for a reason to think about something besides herself.

"Calm?"

Hannah huffed at her, rolling her eyes. "Yes, calm. It can't possibly be as bad as it looks."

Elena stood, following her friend as she paced and trying to make sense of what the willowy girl was saying.

"_What_ can't be bad?"

"The guy." Hannah took a deep breath, clearly frustrated that Elena didn't understand. Hannah needed an interpreter when she got excited. This was something Elena had learned quickly. The red head swung away, wringing her hands.

"I thought maybe a Fed at first." Hannah was mumbling as she paced. "But the suit's too nice. They don't make _that_ much money, _no matter how_ TV likes to pretty them up."

One of her roommate's favorite past times was conspiracy theories, so Elena sank back onto her bed, her alarm fading….at least until Hannah went on.

"But when he asked for you…" Hannah turned back, her wide eyes sweeping Elena with a mournful glance. "Well, it's the accent that gave him away. NSA, maybe."

Elena rose again, her excitement building again. Hands on the thin, freckled shoulders that were bowed with worry, she shook the mumbling girl a little harder than she meant to.

"Where?" But her friend was lost in concern, green eyes clouded.

"What have you gotten mixed up in, Roomie?"

"Hannah, _where is he_?" She was almost shouting now.

"Downstairs at the front desk." The red head poked out the door and back in again. "We could probably duck you out the back door." But Elena hadn't stopped to hear the last comment. She was heading down the hall and to the stairs at a dead run of her own.

She turned the last corner in the four flights of stairs that offered a clear view of the front desk. Elijah stood, as big as life, at the foot of the stairs looking up. A smile spread across his face, making his eyes crinkle at the corners a little, just as always.

Others stood around the desk, loitering for no good reason that she could see, but she refused to even waste the time really noticing them. She did vaguely acknowledge that usually the desk was abandoned for the entertainment the TV offered in the adjoining sitting room. Odds were that the TV was mattering on all alone though at the moment. Everyone, it seemed, was standing around the desk watching Elijah suspiciously.

Meeting his eyes, she bounded down the steps. Skipping the last three of them altogether, she launched at him, letting out a squeal of joy.

Before his arms even closed around her, catching her mid-air as she'd known he would, she was talking.

"But I don't understand…" The vice of his arms crushed her to him, her chin landing across his right shoulder. His face was shrouded from her as it sank into the back of her hair.

She tried to lean back, in an effort to meet his eyes. But he hadn't moved and she couldn't see clearly. Her feet stayed a foot and a half off the floor, at least.

"You were in…" She closed her arms around his neck, holding on for dear life as the air puffed out of her in gasps against his throat.

"How could you be…" Evidently lacking the sense to finish a coherent sentence, she let it go. All she could do was hang on and _bless him_, Elijah didn't let go.

After another moment or two of stillness, he let her slide to the floor and she looked up into his dark eyes, watching the dark honey color in them pop with delight.

"I'm hoping you still don't have plans for the evening. You said last night when we talked that you didn't." His voice was just above a whisper and she could hear strains of his laughter in it.

"No. No plans." Her head shook and the smile on her face felt fixed there.

"Then I've come to take you to dinner."

_Dinner. With Elijah._ She stepped back and looked down at her wrinkled khaki shorts and pink tank shirt.

"Give me five minutes to change."

His brows went up, his smile all the wider. "You have ten."

She took a step toward the stairs, turned back and then spun again to the steps, mounting the first flight two at a time. At the first landing, where she'd first seen him, standing out like a panther among alley cats, she spun back, calling down.

"Wait here."

Elena heard him call back to her as she launched up more stairs. "As long as it takes."

Elijah had decided to change tack. He leaned against the desk where Elena had left him as she bounced back up the stairs. The change in his approach seemed to be reaping benefits already considering the enthusiastic greeting he'd just gotten. He had never had his brother's gift for wooing women. Klaus told him once that Elijah's subtlety was his downfall. He had never taken the time, until now, to consider the advice his younger brother had offered. It hadn't mattered much. Affairs of the heart held little real interest for him…again, _until now_.

There was more than one way to gain access to a fortified stronghold. One might move in slyly and find entrance by an indirect path from below, behind or even above. Finding an opening that way could be a slow, painful process….one for a patient man. Usually that was exactly what he was…a patient man. He was willing to admit that description didn't apply to him in every situation. Not anymore. So he would lay siege to her door. A full frontal assault would do, he told himself as a slow smile spread across his lips.

_Every once in a long while, a change of plans was a good thing._

Elena wore a sleek black dress that had been sitting dormant in her closet for two and a half months. She'd brought it on a whim, wondering if she'd ever have a chance to wear it and now she was thankful. It had long sleeves that widened to an ragged edged bell at each wrist and a hemline just below her knee in the same trumpet shape. Everywhere else, it fit her like a glove. The neckline, dipping low between her breasts made her a little nervous, but she loved the dress just the same. It matched Elijah's natural elegance, so she wouldn't feel out of place standing next to him for once.

Dragging the brush through her hair, she met Hannah's gaze in the mirror. A quick explanation while tumbling headlong into her closet was the best Elena could offer at the moment. But, with curiosity unsatisfied, Hannah sat watching her struggle to make herself presentable.

"A friend, huh?" The green eyes were speculative and a knowing smile played on her lips.

"Well, he's not NSA. That much I can tell you for sure."

Hannah made a "pish" sound, flapping a hand dismissively. "Forget that. I'm much more interested in the _actual_ story."

"There's no story, seriously." Why did her hair refuse to cooperate? A little shine was all she was asking for, rather than a lifeless mess with a crimp in it from wearing a ponytail most of the day."He's just a friend." She mumbled distractedly.

Giving up, she pulled her stray hair over each shoulder to frame her face and stepped back to examine her reflection. _It would have to do._

Stepping into black pumps, she grabbed her bag and headed for the door, glancing at the clock. _He gave me ten minutes_, she thought with a grin. _Finished in seven_. With a nod to the other girl, she was out the door and headed down the hall again in a flash, heels or no heels.

He was waiting at the foot of the steps again and his eyes moved over her appreciatively when she rounded the corner. She loved it when he looked at her that way, his eyes doing the speaking for him.

He took her hand when she reached the bottom step and tucked it into the bend of his arm, leading her to the door before stopping to open it for her. No one else did those simple things, making the world of difference between him and every male she'd ever known even more glaringly obvious.

He led her to a sleek black car that was parked at the curb and stepped away as if he would open it before hesitating and turning back to her.

"There's something I'd like to do first." His tone seemed thoughtful and his eyes moved over her again as he stepped back up to where she waited.

"We agreed that there were no barriers or boundaries between us, didn't we?" Barriers? He was talking about their conversation weeks ago when she'd kissed him.

"Yes." Her answer held her questions as she tried to understand where he was going. It surprised her when he smiled.

"Good. I should do this properly, then."

Each of his hands came up to frame her face and he leaned down very slowly, as if savoring the moment just before he closed his mouth over hers. Maybe he intended to give her a chance to refuse, or pull away as she realized that he was going to kiss her. _Like refusing him anything was an option_, she thought as her heart leapt to her throat.

His smooth, warm lips met hers gently and the kiss itself was tentative at first. Her eyes drifted closed as the strength of the contact tore through her, making her ripple against his hands with its power.

She'd once seen a video on the internet of a man being struck by lightning. It sent him flying backward with more force than she could possibly imagine for something no more tangible that what had appeared to be a flash of light. That was how she felt. The simple act of his lips against hers and her heart stopped as the charge ripped through her. Her blood boiled under her skin and her breathing halted entirely as her brain turned to charred mush. She was sure, if she ever opened her eyes again, she'd find silvery light glowing from her pores and shining out the tips of her fingers.

**Author's note:**

** I did it again. I asked myself "what if?" and rather than editing a story that was posted before, as I had planned, instead I'm writing an entirely new one. **

** In my opinion, the attraction between Elijah and Elena was always an undertone in the television series. It was like water set to on the stove to boil, but never quite reaching the needed temperature. What could have been between them brimmed beneath the surface; rather than ever getting the chance to bubble to life. That is frustrating, considering their potential. **

** I'm adding heat. **


	6. Chapter 6

Making Amends, Chapter 6

Elijah cupped her face with his hands intending to limit himself and where his hands might roam while she was wearing that dress. But the feel of her skin and the angle of her lovely bones under his fingers held a majesty all their own and he'd nearly forgotten himself just lingering there. She was warm, vital, even supple, like the petals of a flower against his fingertips, and just as fragrant. _Perfect. Absolutely perfect. _

_ The way she moved, her scent, the sound of her voice and the unique gentleness of heart that defined her were her orchestra; thrumming a haunting melody that was both simple and complex at once. Eloquent and sweet, she had a rhythm all her own, wrapped in a dress that whispered like an eagerly enchanted audience around her when she walked. She was perfection to him. _

He hadn't known what to expect, honestly, when he moved in deciding to kiss her again. He had had his doubts that she'd even allow it. But he'd set about making a frontal assault and that was how he'd proceed. Feeling her actually ripple against him, though, made moving beyond those doubts worth the effort. Better still, while he was cautious about limiting their contact by keeping his hands near her face, she evidently felt no need for caution. He bit back a sigh of wonder as she moved close when the kiss deepened and lengthened, her hands settling against his chest. Her touch twisted him inside out, without fail.

He pulled away slowly, his tongue moving over his lips to enjoy the taste she left behind. He left his hands to frame her lovely face, waiting for her bourbon colored eyes to flutter open.

Her lips tilted into a small smile played before she said, her eyes glassy and unfocused, "Um….." The word, _could one call that a word?_ sounded creaky as she trailed off, her expression uncertain. He watched her swallow and clear her throat to find her voice. When she did speak, she said only, "Wow."

He lowered his hands and forced himself to turn back toward the car, however he regretted the distance.

"Yes." He agreed. "Well said." _"Wow" was the best expression he could think of in light of the power of that kiss. Had he known how it would feel to touch her that way and feel her respond so passionately, he wouldn't have restrained his instinct for as long as he had. Wasted time was not a concept he felt regret over, as a rule. If there was ever something he had an abundance of, it was time. But every moment, hour, day with her was precious to him._

He opened the door and took her hand to help her down from the curb. She stopped, as he'd known she would, rather than slide easily into the car.

"What is this?" She asked, her hand fluttering with the sleeve of her dress as she gestured to what he'd left for her on the seat.

"That," He reached in and took the tissue wrapped bundle and handed it to her, "is for you."

A hushed sound of wonder escaped her as she leaned in and let the soft petals caress her skin. Questing eyes followed him over the blooms. "I don't understand."

"I happen to know it's your birthday."

"How do you know that?" She had gone stock still, the bouquet now tucked against her, under her breast.

"You'd be surprised at what I know, little Elena." He gestured to the flowers in her hands. "For example, I also know that marigolds are your favorite flower, but you never buy them for yourself." She loved the dark red and golden tipped ones best. So the bouquet he'd assembled himself were just that.

She smiled as her eyes narrowed, the golden brown depths in them turning both playful and suspicious.

"How would you know that?" He only grinned crookedly and turned back, urging her into the seat.

She followed his urging and looked up again. "You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"No." He moved around to slide into the seat while he felt her watching him.

Starting the car, he changed the subject. "Why didn't you tell anyone here that it was your birthday?"

She lifted a shoulder, looking self-consciously at her feet.

"I didn't want to draw attention to myself. I'm just not comfortable enough for that here."

Her answer surprised him. A beautiful young woman who wished to avoid attention. She was a bundle of contradictions.

"And why didn't you tell me?" Hope that the answer would take away the sting of that omission tightened like a band around his chest.

She met his eyes swiftly and made him wonder if he'd said too much, or said it wrong. Those sparkling depths of hers saw too clearly at times, so he leaned forward in the seat to start the car and move into traffic.

It was quiet between them for a few miles. The silence stretched on, his question ringing in his ears and his stomach knotted up on itself at her lack of an answer. _Was this a day she hadn't really wanted to share with him?_ Was there somewhere else she'd rather be, or someone else she'd rather be sharing it with?

When her hand rested on his at the gear shift, he found dark eyes moving quietly over him.

Her small musical voice filled the silence. "I lost my parents right before my birthday four years ago." His breath halted at the pain in her voice. "I stopped celebrating it then and haven't really completely regained the knack for it. It's been just another day, but this time I hurt about not having the people that matter close." She lifted his hand with hers and wove their fingers together before resting their clasped hands on the gearshift again. "You fixed that."

After a beat, her tone saying that she refused to think sad thoughts, she said, "So you know things about me that no one else does." He raised his brows, watching her while he kept one eye on the road and waited to see where she was going with this realization of hers.

"So now you have to spill."

He pulled a face, trying to follow. "Spill?" _That didn't sound pleasant._

"Yes. Share. You know things about me that no one else does. So you have to play fair. Tell me something that no one else knows."

_So "spill" meant to talk, to share. He learned something new with every conversation they had. Modern vernacular often escaped him, but her sharp wit filled in the gaps. Yet another layer to her he was thankful for._

He thought for a minute about the question. He had myriads of things no one else knew about him, but he wasn't about to tell her any of _that_.

Thinking hard for a moment, he tightened his hold on her hand and said, "There is one thing." She waited, illuminated by the play of lights they passed on the street as they moved across her face.

"Animals. I miss them."

"Animals?"

"Yes. Before my mother's curse, I had horses, hunting dogs. After…." His boys had been huge mastiff brothers that were identical in size, color and markings. Some called them twins. Only he could really tell them apart. Loyal, gentle and fierce; a great deal of time and patience had been invested in domesticating and training them. His time. He hadn't thought of them in centuries but even now his throat tightened with the memories.

"Well, I couldn't get near them when it was done." He shrugged, as if it was nothing. _Surprising how even a gesture could be deceitful._ "I thought at the time that nature itself had rejected us. I know now that animals sense predators and that was the cause. But I miss the quiet acceptance of a pet and companion."

"So all animals….?" Her voice trailed off and he nodded.

"All animals." They sensed his approach. No matter how he admired them, he couldn't move close to wild mustangs without causing a stampede in their need for escape. The same held true for every other species. Unfortunately, that sort of reaction was something he'd been forced to become accustomed to from more than just the natural world.

"I'm sorry." Her quiet words rang with compassion. He had known if anyone could understand, it would be her priceless, gentle heart.

"Unforeseen consequences." His lips twisted wistfully. That phrase became a theme in his life the moment his mother cast her curse. There was always a price to be paid for thwarting the natural order of things.

He stopped the car outside the small restaurant and turned it off with a flick of his wrist.

"Can I see you next Saturday again for dinner?" Yes, they hadn't finished this date but he was rejecting subtlety.

His gut clenched at the warm smile she turned on him.

"Absolutely."

"What about the next Saturday?" He paused for a beat, watching the bourbon in her eyes begin to glow.

"Am I sensing a campaign?" At least she understood that he was setting a precedent in this relationship, establishing that he wanted to see her on more than a computer screen and often.

"I've been thinking of it as a siege, but yes, a campaign would work too." Lifting his free hand to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, he said quietly. "How am I doing so far?"

She lifted her chin a little, and the power of her crooked smile washed over him. Impish humor danced in her eyes at her answer. "I'll let you know."

As he came around to open her door and take her hand again to help her out of the car, she turned suddenly thoughtful eyes on him.

"When is _your_ birthday, by the way? I can't believe I haven't even thought to ask."

Tucking her hand into the crook of his arm, _-He instinctively embraced any opportunity to touch her, however innocently. Courtly manners served his purpose and made for an excellent excuse-_, one of his large shoulders rose and fell in response to her quiet curiosity.

"That becomes a complicated question in my case." Reaching to open the door of the candlelit foyer to the French restaurant he'd arranged a reservation for, he paused to let her pass before he joined her inside. "I was born a few weeks after the winter solstice, sometime around the festival of Twelfth Night by all accounts. " Births were not marked in his time the way they were in this modern age. The blank expression on her face made him chuckle. "On your modern calendar, that would translate to around January the fifth or so. That is the day I use to mark the passage of time, anyway. Like you, it's not exactly a celebration for me."

He found it terribly sad that she felt little joy in the anniversary of her birth, but would hold his tongue on the subject. He understood her much better now, knowing her reasons. One more of the pieces slotted into place in his favorite puzzle box.


	7. Chapter 7

Elena sat watching the water pulse back and forth with the rising tide as the sun set. She had found a quiet spot on the beach, propped on a high rock. It was Friday and her semester officially ended today. She would be returning to Virginia in the morning for the holidays with only a week until Christmas. Plans for the following semester had been laid and her future looked hopeful again. The painful periods of regret had been overcome, with Elijah here at her side every weekend.

She still didn't know for certain how he was able to do that. He came and went with the changing direction of the wind, it seemed. During their conversations before her birthday, she'd gotten the impression he had responsibilities that left him traveling frequently. But now he was able to come and go as he pleased. When she'd asked if she was keeping him from working as he needed, he'd only smiled and said that geography wasn't exactly a barrier for him. _Whatever that meant…_

There were a dozen things she should be doing, but instead she was staring wistfully out at the endless tide wondering where he was right now. She did that more and more...think about him. Not that this was a new concept, she'd never really stopped thinking about him, but now it was so much worse….or better, depending on how a person looked at it.

They had spent every weekend together since her birthday and if anything, their connection had deepened and sharpened. Something she wouldn't have thought possible after the friendship they had forged.

When she was completely honest, from the moment she'd met him, she'd always been _aware._ She'd never been able to lay her finger on what it was about him that set him apart from every other male she'd met. It was more than just that he was a vampire, because it felt like everyone she cared about had joined those ranks, or nearly. There was something else happening with him. She could admit now, to herself anyway, that even when she was in the throes of guilty lust with Damon or young love with Stefan, she would settle into self-conscious stillness whenever Elijah happened to be around. His very presence brought her to a screeching halt, regardless of what was happening. It went that way every time.

Was it in the way he looked at her, even then? Maybe a play of the light in his eyes, or the tilt of his head when she spoke that caught her attention? Or maybe it was because he seemed to always make it so clear that she had his complete focus? Her thoughts swarmed around in her mind like a confused hive of bees, buzzing just at the edge of her understanding.

Somehow, he managed to convince her that everything hinged on her. Her decisions, her thoughts and perceptions mattered to him, and deeply. Physically, he was a beautiful man, and wore it like one who was unaware of that. But her reaction ran more deeply than physical attraction, which in itself could be overwhelming, she knew. There was that little something extra with him that had always made her heart beat a little faster. The end result was a preoccupation that left her concerned about what he thought of her, or _if_ he thought of her.

Maybe it was Elijah himself that made for the _something extra_.

All she knew for sure now was that she ached. She'd never seen that coming. The blame for that was totally on her. She had mauled him in her driveway, after all. _Poor man_. Her chin tilted a little and a smile played around her lips as she remembered the sound he'd made when she'd touched him, truly touched him, for the first time. That memory made the ache twist hard and low in her belly.

She'd set something in motion that day. But rather than make the natural, lovely progression as she had come to hope for, the entire problem had turned frustrating and uncomfortable. From the drama of the past with Stefan, she'd learned the hard way that honest relationships should be simple and straight forward. Somehow along the way she had lost the knack for knowing how to get it what she wanted. With Elijah, nothing was as simple as it should be. _Was it because it meant more?_

How exactly did a woman ask a man to take her to bed? That was a scenario she'd never played out. She wanted. God, how she wanted. But, week after week they spent time together just as they always had. Well, maybe not like always. They had kissed often, and explosively. But it never quite ended with the destination she had in mind.

What if she just said what she wanted? What if she tackled him, just once, the way she wanted to? The thought made her smile rumble into a chuckle. Imaginative images of Elijah with a harassed look at her forwardness, or being lost in the moment flashed through her mind.

The other side of the problem was the simple fact that he _could be_ such a gentleman. Yes, civility was just a part of who Elijah was, but it left her unsure of his feelings and where this thing was going. The two of them were from different times and different worlds. Until now that hadn't been a real obstacle, but it was becoming one because she just didn't understand him or what he wanted.

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_It was the way things had happened that had infuriated him, not a matter of jealousy…of course._ Elijah stepped over what was left of the smashed pieces of the laptop he'd been using, feeling the metal and plastic bits grind under his heel.

On a Skype call with Elena just a few moments before, she had quietly called someone off screen "sweetheart" before hurrying to end the call and get rid of him. The way her voice had sounded, the gentle lilt she'd used for the very first time in his hearing, and certainly not directed at him, combined with the tenderness in her expression as she'd gazed off screen set his teeth on edge. Her eyes had gone soft, turned up a little at the corners just before she told him under her breath that someone had come in and she would have to go. And no, she wouldn't be able to see him as she'd hoped.

All of that was plenty enough for him to be frustrated. It was the sound of the eldest Salvatore's voice just before she'd closed the laptop screen and ended the Skype session that had been the real cause of the reflexive flight of the laptop off his desk with one hand. The accompanying growl still echoed in the room.

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Headed out into the dark night, Elena slid hurriedly into her car and turned toward the outskirts of town. He was home. She was sure he was there, although he hadn't said so. It had taken some time to get rid of Damon and Stefan. They were doing her a favor and seemed to think that they should just come and go. Honestly, they did that anyway at her house and she'd gotten used to it over the years. But tonight it had annoyed her to no end, sending her carefully laid plans flying like they'd struck a landmine.

It was late and her plans with Elijah were awash, but she just had _a feeling_ she couldn't explain. She didn't know what was causing her to rattle around the edges with this need to see him, but she was going to his place whether he was expecting her or not.

Hopping out, she crossed the drive and was up the steps to his door in just a few minutes with a warm smile ready for him, along with an apology.

She jumped in surprise a little when he snatched the door open wordlessly. Dark, hard eyes roved disdainfully over her before he turned his back and left the door open for her to follow. The angle of his shoulders and the stiffness of his stride told her he didn't care one way or the other whether she decided to come in or not.

Elena did follow, her own anger rising like a tide as she crossed the threshold and closed the door behind her. A few steps into the room, something cracked under her shoe, making her stop and look beyond her temper at her surroundings. The marbled floor was marred, a huge pockmark in the hall and dark metal and plastic pieces were strewn like a bomb had gone off. She toed one shard with her shoe and it flipped over, revealing a broken piece of circuit board. The laptop. Elijah had destroyed the laptop.

He had moved into the other room and appeared to have calmly taken a seat, but Elena was frozen in shock at the evidence uncontrolled violence. He wasn't violent now, not with her, but he had been. From the look, the silence, she could guess that he was monumentally angry….and with her. Not enough to send her away, thank god, but he was certainly furious and waiting for some apology or explanation.

_He wasn't going to get one._ And, as for Elena, she couldn't have been more thrilled.

A small, olive skinned hand slipped up to cover her mouth as a slow smile spread under her fingers. Anger. Fury. She didn't really care why he was, but that he was. The thought filled her heart with quiet joy. Her sweet, civil man, who treasured his dignity, could get absolutely roiling mad at her. He was definitely not immune, as she was afraid, or unaffected. Just the thought of his possible indifference had truly terrified her.

Only what truly mattered to Elijah had the power to move him to real emotion….the most basic of which was anger. Klaus, Rebecca, his family made him angry at times. She'd seen it with her own eyes. But no one else ever touched that level of emotion in him. He sort of skimmed over the surface of everything else, unconcerned. Once, Elena had managed to make him angry with her…with only a lie. Now she saw clearly the implications of that.

_He loved her._

_God, what if she was wrong?_ She was still standing in the foyer, looking at the destruction and shaking her dark head. She couldn't be wrong. _Please God, let me not be wrong._

Bolstering her courage, she headed toward the sitting room where he was waiting, still silent. His black shirt and pants stood out against the pale leather of the chair across the room that he'd chosen. He had decided to sit as far away from her as possible, but still able to keep his eyes on her.

When she moved toward him, the plastic still crackling under her dark brown flats, his eyes shifted to meet hers for a moment before his lips settled to a thin white line and a muscle pulsed in his jaw. Whatever she'd done to get him going, she'd done it very well. She didn't step lightly or cautiously because it simply never occurred to her. No matter how angry he might get, he would never hurt her, so there was no fear. But the tension in him made her stomach clench anyway because knowing what she knew now, she wanted to sooth away anything that was painful or uncomfortable for him.

"I can see that you have something you want to say." Elena's simple sleeveless brown dress moved around her legs and reminded her of what she needed to do as she pulled the matching cardigan sweater off and flung it over the back of the couch as she slowly passed.

"Yes, I think that's a fair assumption." His voice sounded hard and disdainful, the words tightly clipped. One of his hands opened and closed hollowly in his lap as he shifted, crossing one leg over the other.

"I'm completely willing to hear anything you want to say. But I came to have a discussion with you of my own tonight. Would you mind if I went first?" Her tone and words were quietly declarative, telling him she had business to deal. He straightened in his chair, looking even more tense, if that was possible.

His eyes lashed her with bridled fury, but his words were calm as he said, "By all means. Ladies, first." Was it her imagination that he sounded faintly sarcastic when he'd used the word "ladies" in reference to her? She bit back a smile. _Wow, he was mad._

Elena took three more steps, until she was standing just a step away. Reaching down with both hands, she took the edge of her dress and lifted it up over her head. She wore a light tan lace bra and matching panties now, and that was all. The warmth of the firelight danced across her skin and she met his eyes boldly.

Elijah's entire frame slammed into stillness as his lips parted slightly. He definitely hadn't seen this coming. A smile played on her mouth and she took the advantage to push his propped knee down. Straddling him, she took a seat on his lap, hoping he wouldn't feel the nervous quiver that shook her.

The dark eyes, still angry, whipped over her before meeting hers as they flickered in confusion.

"Elena. What do you think you're doing?" The words were a rasping croak and she couldn't help it. She smiled. The usually measured accent ringing with tight anger was gone.

"Discussing, Elijah. Of course." It was a sigh when she said it. Pressing herself to him, she angled her head and sealed her mouth over his. She felt his breath hitch as she moved purposefully against him, leaning, rising onto her knees and then falling again around him. One of his hands moved into her hair, to hold her still and close as he deepened the kiss. The other hand was at her shoulder, but she took it in her own and pressed it to her breast. He grew still again for half a breath before he pulled away from the kiss, his chest heaving, to meet her eyes. Questions flickered in the velvet there, but the anger had faded.

Elena's hand moved down his shirt front, her fingers stopping at the buttons to work on them. He drew another deep breath before he stopped and watched her fingers on his buttons. The hands that had been occupied with her moved suddenly. Without a word, he grabbed both sides of the shirt and shredded the material in one move, causing silk and buttons to fly in a puff around them. The fluid movement and resulting chaos made Elena laugh under her breath as her fingers spread across the planes and contours of his bare chest for the first time.

The landscape of his body was broken up, here and there, by scars that surprised her. They weren't ugly, or even unattractive, just part of him. He had stopped to watch her face as her eyes moved over his skin and the evidence of another life. She understood now that he kept that part of him concealed purposely under a veneer of civility, which was the entire contents of his wardrobe. Her small fingers skimmed his ribcage on the left, where a particularly large scar bisected his frame and a hiss of distress left her for the pain that must've caused him. Another also caught her notice, more ragged but smaller on the other side, just below his lowest rib. Fingers traced it too and this time the hiss that filled the room was from sensation and he was its source.

When she leaned down and pressed her lips there reverently his entire frame lifted in a clumsy hitch, surging toward her on its own.

Moving against him, she leaned close to his ear, noting that his hands were both in her hair, urging her wherever desire led her. She met his gaze with her own and saw that angry eyes had shifted to molten honey with a glaze around the edges and a spark of heat lighting their depths.

"I need you." It was a simple thing, for a girl to ask for what she wanted. It was also much easier than she ever thought it would be.

"Well." It was a whisper, as if his voice had failed him altogether. "then you should have me." There was no irony or humor in the statement, but Elena giggled. He was completely rattled and off his game. She had done that, shaking him, with all his experience and wisdom, right down to his Italian loafers.

**Author's note:**

**No. We're not done here. Just fyi. We'll see the rest of the encounter from Elijah's perspective shortly. I promise. Heeeheeeheeeheee (writer rubbing her hands together evilly)**

**I'd like to say that I had an absolute blast writing this chapter. Elena and Elijah have a dynamic relationship and my first run at this moment wasn't quite so explosive. This feels better, truer to who they are as a couple in the two stories that follow this one. I will be republishing Leaving and Dying to Live over the next few weeks and months- the time it will take will be dependent on them and how much editing/rewriting I will be forced to do.**

**As a shameless plug, if you like what you see here, there's more where this came from. Please check out my first novel. It's available at Amazon dot com under my pen name, Elle Winters. **

**Blessed be.**


	8. Chapter 8

Making Amends, Chapter 8

All rational thought seized like a clock with stripped gears when Elena lifted her dress and tossed it away. Elijah had been upset, he knew that for certain. At the moment, he couldn't remember why. Seeing her with the light from the fire moving across her bare skin was like watching a master's skilled brush work come to life. Whatever it was that had upset him probably didn't matter anyway.

Dimly he marveled at the power nature placed in the smallest and most delicate of hands. One swift move from her like this and all strength…all sense, left him. And he was supposed to be the more powerful of the two of them. Clearly not. It was humbling. _It was also wonderful._

His lips twitched into a smile under hers as she kissed him and she pulled a breath away to smile back.

With her over him, around him this way, his chest stilled. It took all concentration to remember to fill his lungs again. He drug in air like a drowning man and wondered at the clumsy hands and nerveless fingers that hung useless at the end of each of his arms.

When her fingers spread out over his skin, though, his reaction caught him off guard. His body took on a life of its own, with needs and an agenda separate from reason. All his experience and forethought lost; he was a schoolboy again trying not to quake under gently questing hands.

Perfect. Even in this moment, -no- especially in this moment, she was perfection itself.

He'd been biding his time as best he could. It had seemed that she might need time to become accustomed to thinking of him in terms of a lover. He had all the time in the world and would wait however long it took. But, once again she'd proven him wrong.

The tight band that had nearly worn a hole through his chest over the last weeks stretched and snapped loose as his heart swelled. His deepest concern had been that she might pull away, leaving him alone again when she returned to her friends and family in Mystic Falls. She had turned to him while she was hurting and afraid. He'd been more than glad to fill the void, if only for a little while, but felt it would never last. Elena talked for hours with him, liked him, laughed with him…but she didn't love him. It wasn't the most pleasant thought he could entertain, but it was truth as he saw it.

She was here now. That was all that mattered.

Tracing the edge of the delicate of bra she still wore with a clumsy finger, he pulled away from her mouth to close his lips over the darkened tip he could just see through the wisp of lace. Her body bowed like a dancer, her back bent to a graceful arc. A soft sigh filled the room making his body slam into an answering response.

Feeling him tighten even more against her, she rose onto her knees, slid down his body as she had before in a gesture as old as time. _Was she trying to kill him?_ Need ripped at him as he stood, leveraging her warmth against his chest. There'd been too much distance between them, for too long. Not tonight.

The eyes that flew open to meet his were drugged with desire.

"I suggest we move this discussion to a better venue." His voice sounded foreign, even to him, cracked and raspy.

Rather than answer him, she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. He shivered when warm lips moved against his jaw and trailed down his throat. It didn't seem to matter how she touched him, or where. Every caress moved over him like liquid fire.

_Yes, she was definitely trying to kill him. A gentle assassin. _He wanted to laugh with the joy of it.

He moved the pair of them to his room quickly, forgetting to warn her as he went. She gasped, laughing as the tangle of what had been her smooth hair settled around them both.

Seeing his bed, she smiled. "I agree. We can talk much better here." Still in his arms, she made a move and snapped at the front of her bra so that it opened to him. _He would marvel at the wonder of modern inventions later._

High, firm, darkly tipped and deeply olive toned, he was sure he'd never seen any sight that was quite so lovely. Resting her very gently on the edge of the stark white linen coverlet on the bed, he went to his knees between hers and sat back on his heels to just take her in. Imagination had taken him to this place and moment many times over the last years, but seeing her here made him understand that fantasy paled in comparison to reality.

One of his hands wandered up, on its own, before he realized and hesitated. Elena saw, took his hand in hers and laid it where she wanted him to touch. Her eyes closed, her head tipping back in heady abandon, she moved against his hand like a cat leaning into a stroke. _His kitten._

"Beautiful." He did intend to say it out loud, but out the word came anyway.

He stood, nudging her gently backward and joining her on the bed. Before him stretched out a panorama of hills and valleys he ached to explore. Fighting to keep his clumsy hands gentle, he moved over her while she moved restlessly against his caress.

He would've liked to make this a skilled seduction, but frankly he didn't have the strength. She said before that she needed. Need wasn't an adequate word for the depth of what he felt. He didn't know a word that would express it. He just knew he couldn't be patient anymore.

They moved together, discarding the last barriers between them as the room filled with a harmony of soft sighs and ragged groans. When a swift and final move made them one at last, Elijah was overcome. She simply wrapped him in herself. For one who had been, for so very long, alone; now he was folded into her and lost in generosity. It shook his foundations and left him astounded at the depth and breadth of her power.

He had wanted to make this a skilled seduction for her. In point of fact, he was the one seduced.

As she shuddered around him, his back bowed, his breathing stopped and his forever gray world exploded into technicolor.

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Sitting against the smooth cherry headboard of his bed, he wrapped the sheet up around her and pulled her into his arms. He'd never been one to linger in the bedroom afterwards, but was finding that old ways didn't apply anymore. Elijah might never move from this spot if she would stay here with him.

Elena was relaxation itself, stretching under the smooth sheet next to him. Watching her, he saw humor play across her eyes while she stared off into space.

"You look very pleased with yourself."

"Not with myself. Just pleased." The slant of the smile she flashed as she said it warmed something deep in him.

"As for our discussion, you make some very valid points." Wicked smile on display, his eyes strayed purposely to breasts outlined by the sheet. "If this was a debate, you win."

Warm, musical laughter filled the room as she swatted playfully at him.

"Tell me what you were thinking just now." The way her mind worked fascinated him.

"I was thinking of all those wonderful old words that could apply to me after that." Her smile was warm and impish as she stretched languidly. "Courtesan. Trollop. Tart. Harlot." She ticked them off on her fingers. "I like them all, but I think harlot is my favorite. It doesn't get nearly enough exposure these days. Maybe I could revive it."

He brushed a kiss across a still bared shoulder.

"You would only qualify as a harlot if you were doing this with more than one partner at a time." He leaned back again and met her eyes, his narrowed in mock suspicion.

She laughed, reaching up to kiss him. "You know there's just you."

"Yes, well, I hope so." He paused, unwilling to dispel their peace but unable to forget what he had seen and heard before. If nothing, what had happened between them tonight only made his need for answers more profound. Pulling a face at his own foolishness, he gave voice to the dissent in his heart.

"I would very much like to know who you called _"sweetheart"_ with such warmth while we were talking earlier." That word alone made him want to snap his teeth together.

Watching her closely, the heat of his earlier anger burst to flame as an answering blush swept her face.

"The laptop. Oh, God."

A muscle under his eye twitched. "Maybe I don't know for certain that there's just me after all."

She shook her head, her expression rueful.

"It's not like that, Elijah."

"I saw your face, Elena."

"I can't answer. I won't lie to you, but, like you, there are things I can't say right now. I'm going to have to ask you to trust me."

His jaw tightened and he studied his white knuckles through narrowed eyes. He had been a fool for a woman before. But she wasn't just any woman. He had to remember that. Drawing a deep, calming breath, he relaxed his hands again, stretching them out on the bed, a gesture of peace.

"Then answer me this at least. Was it Damon Salvatore you were speaking to so sweetly?" He couldn't help the mockery that hung in the air between them. The band around his chest had already caught and cinched into place again as he asked the question that was burning him up inside.

She clapped a hand over her mouth as a sputter gained strength and volume, after a second of trying to contain it, she roared into a full blown gale of laughter.

"God, no." More spits and sputters of rose, here and there. Evidently she considered the idea a ridiculous one. Her laughter stopped short when she looked into his face. He was thinking that she was laughing at him and fighting not to respond in anger.

The sheet fell away as she moved in closer, taking his face in her hands, self-consciousness forgotten.

Lovely brown eyes held his solemnly with a deep, abiding tenderness as she spoke. "This," she gestured with a hand at the bed beneath them, "is a sort of unspoken commitment for me. It's not something I do easily, or often, or with just anyone. Let that be what you remember, not something you don't understand and I can't explain. _This matters to me. You matter to me._ There is no one else I want to be with this way, but you. I've wanted this thing with you for a long time. I'm not about to screw it up."

She let her eyes trail away as she went on. "I can only hope you feel something like that, too."

_Trust. Yes. He would trust. It was the only way they could have a future. She had told him a great deal with her few, quiet words. Giving him her trust. He didn't want to "screw this thing up" either._

He took her chin in his fingertips and turned her toward him so that he could kiss her and let the heat, this time of passion, rise again between them.

"There is also just you, Elena." He didn't say that it had always been just her for him. She wasn't ready to hear that. She might not ever be.

Slanting a knowing smile at her, he said, "I would like to hear more about how you've waited so very long. I know a little of your powers of great patience."

She giggled, as he'd known she would, as she leaned into him. Hands strayed low over him and made his hips rise from the bed and forget conversation at all as she whispered, "I have to be careful with you, or I will tell _all_ my secrets."

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Elijah sat watching her sleeping. Her usually smooth dark hair lay framing her face in frothy layers of glistening silk. She had pulled the sheet up around her neck and tucked it under her chin like a child. One golden brown shoulder was bare and its angle made a sharp contrast to the rounded edges the sheet hinted at. Innocence itself shone there in a face that he knew could beam with impish humor. He'd seen that for himself only a few hours before.

Elena had asked him to join her and her family at their home for Christmas Eve. That night in particular held special significance for her, from the memories she'd shared with him. So the invitation meant a great deal.

The house had been a beacon in the dark with lights decorating the porch and yard. It appeared every light was burning and the noise he could hear told him that she had a house full of company inside. His quiet knock at the door, though, created more of a stir than he'd been expecting. Because evidently only Elena was actually expecting him.

The door opened and he found a wall of children ringing him in a half circle in the foyer. Half a dozen wary young vampires stinking sharply of fear eyed him. Definitely he was not expected.

His mind was already processing and planning how this would go. The fine details of which of them he would strike first, where his blows would land as he dispatched them one at a time if they carried out the attack he could see coming. A path played across his mind before anyone so much as moved. It would take more effort for him only to hurt or maim than it would to kill outright, but these were people Elena loved. He could anticipate that Damon would strike first, as the most impetuous of the group, followed closely by Ric, his closest friend, and then the brother, Stefan. An open palmed blow to the solar plexus with just enough force to send Damon upward and backward would give Elijah the time to sweep Ric's long legs out from under him, and perhaps smash an elbow to his ribs once the youngest of them reached the ground. On the plans went in Elijah's mind, an automatic response to the perceived threat. He would do only what was necessary to gain access, if it came to that, and avoid permanent harm.

But Elena brought his plans to a halt with laughing eyes.

Stepping deftly between the others, she moved soundlessly forward and _stepped into him_. That was the only way he could describe it. She had a way of doing that lately. He wasn't one to back down. It wasn't his way. By contrast, Elena's way was to keep right on coming. Her small person was completely undaunted and intending, inevitably, to occupy whatever space he occupied. Immovable object, unstoppable force. In the end, it brought them together, which suited him.

_She was perfect. Perfect for him, anyway._

A rumble of protests ringed them and he felt a surge of someone moving to stop her from getting too close to him. _Like he was a tiger at the zoo that would snatch her up like prey._ He didn't even bother to notice who it was because he was focused on warm brown eyes that popped with mischief. She ran a hand along his chest, up behind his neck and pulled him down into a kiss potent enough to make him forget their audience and lift her off the ground into his arms.

As he set her down, the imp beamed up at him and he couldn't help himself. He laughed. A combination of relief that no damage would be done tonight and the open mischief in her eyes made him tip his head back and laugh until his sides ached.

"I'm so relieved you found a gentle way to broach the subject of our relationship with your friends." Elena and subtlety weren't closely acquainted. Some people might call that a character flaw. Elijah wasn't one of them.

Ric cleared his throat and Elijah found him smiling at them. Ric took a step back from the ring of "welcomers" and gestured broadly toward the interior of their home. "Well, that's how it is then." Ric's smile was genuine, if a little unsure. "Please, come in and join us."

He'd always liked Ric.

A few hours with Elena's family and friends followed by a few hours of the two of them alone in his home with her rounded out one of the best holidays Elijah had been part of in more years than he could count.

Dipping a finger into his half glass of brandy, he leaned close to one of the soft shoulders that rose and fell smoothly with her breathing and let the drip move like a ribbon down her skin. Moving even closer, he very quietly started to lick it away. She stirred, rolling instinctively toward him.

"Again?" Her voice was roughly edged with sleep.

He smiled, letting his breath move over butter soft skin. "Too soon?"

She raised her arms and welcomed him. "Not at all, but sooner or later I _will_ find a way to wear you out too. I'll just need more practice, I guess."

Elijah laughed, a low husky sound, as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, enjoying the warmth and softness of her. He liked the sound of her plan very much.

"Practice. Yes. Let's practice."


	9. Chapter 9

_I'll sleep when I'm dead. _Elena had laughed then at the irony of it, coming from Elijah. Seeing him now, too, she couldn't help but smile.

She stood silent at the foot of the bed watching his still and relaxed form under the white linen sheet. Having rolled over into a full blown sprawl with one hand dangled off the bed. He told her weeks ago that sleep wasn't something he cared for, and it wasn't something he had to do, as a rule. But here he was anyway.

The night before she had rolled into him and tucked her head under his chin. Asking if he would just hold her for a minute while she fell asleep, she had felt him smile against her hair. It was their first full night together. Usually Elena would go home at some point, but the night before it made her chest ache to think about leaving, so she just didn't. He had wrapped both arms around her, sighed and relaxed. A few minutes later, she was pretty sure he was out as his breathing deepened. That was all she remembered because she had relaxed into him too.

But when light had filled the room with the sunrise, she woke and saw an opportunity. He was still holding her against him and it had taken probably half an hour to wiggle out of his arms without waking him. So now, here she stood, unsure of what to do now.

Should she wake him?

Watching her bundle straining against the leash, she thought better of it. Letting the leash go, she stood back and watched as it went sniffing around the bed, under the bed and then, finally, Elijah's stray hand was spotted. Almost on queue, it sniffed first and then licked his elbow tasting. The lick became a gentle gnaw and she stepped around to see Elijah's reaction.

He stirred a little and warm brown eyes opened slowly, turning to find the source of the nipping teeth. It was what he did then that she didn't see coming.

He vaulted. That was the only word she could think of. The sheet flew up, cracking like a whip eight feet or so above the bed, with feathers from the pillow flying straight up and then gently down again to scatter around the room. Elijah himself disappeared entirely for a few seconds before reappearing in a lithe, naked crouch against the far wall.

His expression was much more alarming than his physical response. Undisguised horror. It broke her heart. He was horrified at the presence of a small animal in his bedroom, not because of the animal itself, but because he expected to terrify it. For the first time, Elena saw clearly how his experiences in this area had worn away at him.

She took the leash and sat lightly on the bed.

"Take a deep breath. It's ok." He rolled his eyes as he rose slowly to stand unashamedly naked, cocking his head wordlessly. The faint accusation in his expression propelled her to explain quickly.

"This is Azalea." She rubbed the pup between her ears. "I've been doing some heavy research. It turns out that most of the "predator response" you've run into before is instinct for wild animals. But it's a learned behavior for modern domesticated animals. Most instinct has been bred out of them over the last five hundred years or so. What they do and what they know now is taught by their mother." She took a deep breath, gaining steam.

The puppy whined, demanding attention and Elena reflexively lifted the twenty pound sweetie into her lap, stroking her silvery fur as she hurried on.

"Az here lost her mom in the process of coming into this world. Having been bottle fed, she loves people in general. She's also spent the last couple of weeks hanging out with vampires to see how she would react. Other than chewing up three pairs of Stefan's shoes, it's been entirely uneventful."

The faster she spoke, the more Elijah seemed to relax. He still stayed across the room, as far as he could get from the dog, but she had his attention.

"I would like her for that alone. Nice choice of chewing targets." He flashed a tense half smile at her. _Thank heaven for that; he smiled._

"What breed is she?" He was watching the little ball of fur languishing in her lap with his head cocked curiously to one side.

"She's a blue great dane. That's the silvery color in her fur, the "blue" part. Full grown she'll be about one hundred and forty five pounds and stand nearly four feet tall….like a small horse. The breed is notoriously gentle and loyal." Elena smiled down at the bundle that had rolled over for a belly scratch, trusting blue eyes wide and innocent. "The breeder said she named her for her eyes. They're the exact color of blue azaleas. The only downside I see is about her is that she'll only live about eight years, on average." Frowning at the last comment, she met his eyes.

"Don't look to the end of a relationship, Elena, to measure its worth. If I did that, I would have no hope at all." She watched him step around and grab the sheet that had snapped midair a few moments before and wrapped it around his hips before sitting down on the far side of the bed, behind her. His tone pensive, he went on. "You will have a beautiful relationship with this girl and should enjoy the time you have together."

_How did he manage to make a sheet look good? God, he should be illegal, just…all of him._

Snapping out of her preoccupation with exposed thigh, -_How could this man not know he was beautiful_?-, Elena realized he was talking about much more than just Azalea. Advising her to enjoy what time she might have with the puppy and not to worry about the way things would end. He was talking to himself too, she decided. He also misunderstood completely.

"Actually…." She spun with the silvery dog still in her lap and faced him. "I was thinking of that for your sake. Everyone loves her, and she'll never be without a home. But I got her for you, if you want her."

His gaze snapped up to search her face. He seemed confused again, his breathing halted and his brow furrowed.

"For…..me?" She could see his brilliant mind working to solve some puzzle.

She nodded, smiling a little. "For your birthday. Today." The pup chewed at her fingertips and wiggled joyfully under Elena's distracted hands.

Az loved everyone. It was just her little personality. That was part of her appeal and what made her perfect for Elijah. She would never turn on him or reject him. _Never_. Elena wouldn't have considered taking this chance and risk causing him more pain with another animal otherwise.

"You might not have noticed, but she was licking your elbow and gnawing on you when she woke you. Not exactly a "predator response."" As if to illustrate Elena's point, the dog rolled clumsily over, satisfied with the belly scratch Elena had been giving as she spoke, and began to paw at some of the feathers that had floated down around them onto the bed. She wagged her thick silvery tail and pounced at a few that looked like they wanted to float away again, completely unconcerned that she was well within arm's reach of Elijah.

"I've even got this little sweetheart nearly, and I'll emphasize _nearly_, housebroken for you."

_Sweetheart. _Elijah couldn't help but smile crookedly at the tenderness in her voice as she said the word. He also had to smile at his own foolishness. _The dog_. Elena had been speaking to the dog the night he'd gotten so angry….and jealous.

Love made fools of men, or so he'd heard. Now he knew the truth of it. Because he was the king of fools for what he'd been thinking. He was so relieved that he had listened, deciding to trust her when she had asked it of him.

While she had been researching, locating and caring for this little beauty, -_all for him. A gift for him-_ he had been worrying Elena would forget him, or discard him, or worse. Instead she had done for him the one thing he could not have done for himself, answering an age old ache only she knew about. No one had done something so thoughtful for him in longer than he could remember. Perhaps never.

_She humbled him without even trying._

His long life had taken him to some very dark places. Elena filled his days and now his nights with light and color just by being who she was. He wasn't sure he could go back to darkness again after having stood in the light for a little while.

Cautiously he reached out and ran a single finger along the animal's back, feeling Azalea's smooth silver fur. It was something he hadn't done in a thousand years. The puppy leaned into his caress, stumbling clumsily and stepped into his lap, the feathers forgotten. After making herself comfortable, she decided one of his fingers needed a little chewing. A broad smile spread across his face as he met Elena's eyes.

Hers were glassy with tears. He stood reflexively with the dog tucked under one arm. Wrapping the other arm around Elena, he pulled her close.

"Please don't cry." His voice caught on the words. _He had upset her?_

"I'm just happy." Elena shook her head against his bare shoulder as the moisture of her tears spread.

"And you cry when you're happy?" He sounded as confused as he felt as he sank his unoccupied hand into her hair. The pup, occupying the other arm, settled again and went about licking his shoulder vigorously. _Clearly he needed a shower, or so Azalea seemed to think._

Elena sniffled a little and wrapped her arms around them both.

"I know that you travel a lot, so I figured the guys would be glad to look after her when you're out of town." She was forever practical. In this one thing, he would not be.

"Where I go, she goes from now on."

She chuckled and hugged him harder.

"I thought you might feel that way. Jeremy will be disappointed."

"Jeremy can get his own pet." He felt her chuckle again and went on. "She's perfect and I don't have the words to thank you, Elena." And he really didn't. At this moment, he had both of his girls in a tight embrace and he couldn't be more at peace. _A peaceful, happy birthday. How long had it been since he'd had one of those? _


	10. Chapter 10

Making Amends, Chapter 10

Elijah stood on the steps of his home waiting. He could catch the sound of her car before she ever turned into the mile long drive, so it had become his habit when he knew she was close.

He had called and asked her to come. She came to him or him to her, nearly every evening now. But this time was different. It was nearly time for her to return to her studies. The trip to California loomed over them, adding a certain desperation to their nights. The time had come to address that, and the future. He had spent hours, days even, pacing as he worked out how best to proceed.

Without a doubt, he knew what he wanted. The real question was what would Elena want. She met every moment they had together with eagerness and open arms, but the future had not entered into any of it. He had seen to that, biting back the words that would've spilled out of him so many times in her arms. Speaking from his heart wasn't a skill he'd acquired along his way to finding her.

Watching her slide from the car, he wondered at her lithe movements and how she approached every step like a dancer. He would never grow tired of watching her. _What he needed to know now was whether she would grow tired of him._

She didn't stop until she had arms wrapped around him in greeting, something else he loved about her. Snaking hands up around his neck, she pressed smooth lips to his cheek and moved far enough away to meet his eyes.

"What's wrong?" The usually sparkling brown eyes of hers looked solemn.

"We need to talk." It sounded clipped even to him. Tension drew him, and now her, tight.

She smiled. "Yes, I know what a blabbermouth you are."

He smiled crookedly, but she couldn't miss the fact that it didn't reach his eyes.

Rather than heading upstairs as they usually did, Elijah led Elena along the hall and into the sitting room. He asked her to sit and if she would like a drink, because he was having one. Baffled, she watched as he poured and decided she must be imagining the minute tremor in the hand that extended a half filled glass to her.

"Elena, we have left things unsaid between us. I find that this weighs on me." He stared at hands clasped between his knees where he sat. She longed to smooth it away whatever had him looking drawn. Instead, she took a long drink from her glass.

Elijah noticed that she drained her glass with his first comments. Knowing Elena was not a drinker, he doubted this was a good sign, but he would press on. Without a word, he took both of their glasses and refilled them.

"You have not asked me questions that you have a right to know the answers to." He drew a deep breath and released it slowly. "So I will tell you what you will not ask."

He watched her drain her glass a second time. It had him raising an eyebrow as he indicated the glass, asking with his eyes if she wanted another. She shook her head, setting the empty glass down.

"Dutch courage?"

"Maybe just a bit." He smiled at her honesty. _It gave him hope._

"You know that I am from England after having met Esther." She nodded. "It's the when you don't know." He laced his fingers together between his knees as he leaned forward in his chair. "I was born a thousand years ago, my father a wealthy landholder. We lived a half day's ride from the shores what would become known as Norwich. At that time, our proximity to the sea gave us advantages, but also brought its own brand of grief. I was born in the midst of the Viking invasions that would change our homeland for all time. There were countless attempts at land grabbing. As my father's son, I defended our land, our home and my family fiercely. This is the reasons for the scars you never asked about."

She only nodded, looking thoughtful. _At least she hadn't run away yet._

"I am a thousand years old, Elena. I have seen…I have done things that I can't begin to describe or share. Some of it is more painful than words; some of it is best forgotten. There is good reason why lives have a limited span in what nature established. Too much pain, too much death can bring a person to the edge of madness. Unlimited life does that."

"You must know that I have been acquainted with others that wore the same face, the same features that you wear now." He saw a twinge of pain from her, but forced himself to stay where he was. His eyes did plead for understanding, though. "This fact drew me to you initially. Of course, you already know that. What you do not know is that I knew none of them better than I have come to know you. But yes, there were times that I was convinced that I loved. When I look back, I see in myself an effort to connect, the need to be closely associated with youth and freshness." More pain moved across her eyes, but she said nothing. So strong, was this girl that he loved.

"With you, however, this closeness has been entirely another matter. Something new and fresh to my experience." This brought her around in the seat to face him, sitting sidewise on the seat. She crossed her legs under her. "Extending the hand of friendship took an enormous amount of courage, little one. No one has offered me that in lifetimes."

"But you see, from the beginning, the more I had of you, the more I wanted." He paused, shaking his head. "No, that's deceptive. I am being honest. It did not begin with our friendship. From the moment I clapped eyes on you I wanted."

Her brow furrowed in confusion. And so he laid it all bare.

"I loved you from the moment I saw you, Elena. It's just that simple and that complex."

He paused to let the thrust of that sunk in for her, but his heart twisted in his chest at her silence. His Elena was not one for keeping her peace, so he drew painful conclusions of his own.

Elena watched him stand and fill his glass again, clearly restless.

"It might've been your expressions, the scent of your skin, the way the light moved over your hair. I don't know." He lifted a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. If he was being transparent, he would do it right. He couldn't possibly do more damage than he'd already done.

"Absences since the beginning have not been as long as you would think. Even when you didn't see me, it doesn't mean I didn't see you. I was watching you as you wandered at sunrise through your roadside nurseries, sighing over the marigolds." Looking down at his glass in confusion at how it was empty again, he stopped to refill it. He thought he'd already done that.

"When you lied to me, I was broken. That was the real reason for my anger. I wanted you, would've ended anyone that stopped me, except that it would've brought you pain. I attended to my business, and would return, distracted by you again from my life and responsibilities." His words were beginning to tumble together coming faster in his distress. He stood now, at the other side of the room behind the bar, filling and emptying his glass by turns.

"When you called me, after so long, I was ecstatic and fearful. Fearful much as you described your own feelings at the time. I expected anger, accusations, justified hatred. Instead I found friendship and affection. And then, you broke me again." He shook his head, laughing at himself. The scorn in it was painful to hear and Elena rose, crossing the room. She took the liquor glass from his hand, setting it on the bar and put the palm of his hand to her lips. He froze and all sound from him, even breathing, ceased.

"I love you, too, Elijah."

Elijah closed his eyes slowly as the words washed over him like a warm summer rain. He didn't know which decisions, which turns had led him here, to this woman, but he was grateful, joyful even for what had come before. Regret fell away. Elena was wiping away moisture from his face that he didn't know was there. Pressing soft lips to his cheek, his brow, his chin, she said the beautiful words over and over.

"I love you.", "I love you.", "I love you."

He made love to her near the fire. It was slow and tender this time. Gone was the rush of exploration that had driven them in their nights together up until this moment. In its place were whispered words of love against shoulders, lips, knee caps and ancient scars. He thought he knew all of her and well, but this time he found tender places he had not noticed before. The sounds they made together became a song, in his mind, weaving, swirling, and finally blending together in a harmony that spread into the ether.

When breathing stilled again, he wrapped Elena in a soft blanket from the couch and sat behind her, pulling her, bundled into his arms.

"Please tell me." They had been staring into the fire, watching the pictures the flames made.

She knew what he meant. Understanding what he needed to hear, she leaned her head back against his chest.

"I was afraid. I'm sorry I hurt you." She felt him stiffen as he misunderstood. "Not afraid of you, silly, although everyone around me seemed to think I should be. The way I felt when you were close is what I was afraid of." The tension drained away as she was pulled even closer to him. "I was suddenly more aware of myself, than I had ever been before. Before you ever spoke a word to me, I was wondering what it would feel like to have you kiss me. You stepped into that room, came up to me in a flash and I was mesmerized."

"With all of the drama that came later, I didn't stop to ponder until I lied to you and you were so angry. I was ashamed and horrified. You had trusted me, and I betrayed you." She shivered and he kissed the back of her neck lightly to remind her that these things were long gone.

"With peace came reflection, and I cringed every time you came to mind…which was often." A strangled, embarrassed sound passed through her. "I spent almost a month building up the courage to make that call. I had three drinks before I dialed. Large drinks." She smiled at the memory. "I missed you, period. I didn't know why. I just did. I think I dreamed about you nearly every night. I would close my eyes and there you'd be accusing me with your eyes and kissing me."

Something occurred to her and she turned, eyes narrowed, a half smile tilting her lips. _Damon used to like to play with traipsing through her dreams…. _"You didn't…"

"I would never invade your privacy that way." One eyebrow was raised and he both looked and sounded indignant, but she felt the tremor of a guilty laugh he was holding in. "You did!" She poked a finger into his chest – one poke for each word. "Oh, you big bully! Do that again and we'll lay you to a peaceful rest under that flowering tree in my back yard. I have friends that know how to hide a body, you know…."

_His kitten was unsheathing her claws again._

"Never again, I promise." He was sincere and she saw it. "I was desperate. I apologize."

"You did the right thing, but this is the only time you'll ever hear me admit it." She kissed him and pulled away. "Those dreams forced the issue and made me call you hoping for making amends."

A comfortable silence fell between them and he thought it best to air the last of his worries. "You do know that I won't ever be able to give you children, don't you?" She gasped and turned to him, encircling his neck with her arms. Nose to nose, she said "I won't be having children, Elijah. I decided that after Klaus."

He relaxed as supposed he could see the wisdom in that.

"I bought a house." She seemed confused, so he continued. "It's three blocks from your campus." He studied her face, which told him nothing. _When had she learned to wipe all that she thought from her eyes?_

"I'm asking you to move into it with me. I can't go back to only seeing you sometimes. I want to wake up with you every day, hold you every night." He was talking fast again, but had run out of steam quickly this time. "If you'll have me."

"Oh, that's perfect." Small arms twined around his neck so he took that as her position on the subject. He could think of no better time to introduce her to a few positions of his own.

Elijah went about making Elena forget everything but him for a while.

_**The end**_

_**Author's note: **_

_**Yeah, ok, it's not really the end for Elijah and Elena. Just the end of this story. The second installment is a one shot called **__**Leaving**__**. A third installment is soon to come. Look for them. As always, it's my hope that you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing. Reviews are appreciated, but I do understand that not everyone likes to leave a trail behind. Thank you just the same. I'm honored to have shared some of your time. Unlike Elijah, some of us only have so much of it.**_


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